One of the crazy things about life is that it is never the same,today will never be like yesterday or be like tomorrow. Life will never turn out the way you expect. When sit pretty and think you have it all figured out, a new plot, a new twist develops.
Twenty two years ago I came into this world, was it the happiest moment for my folks or the worst? I am not party to that information and i am sure if I ever will be it will be a bigger story on its own. Im told 1week after my birth my mother went to college, those were the days people got married at 17 years of age. I hardly saw her, and when i did it was for brief moments or when the school holidays began.
My father on the other side was always there,atleast for 6 years before he passed on. I was lucky to enjoy his presence and company and those memories still remain the happiest moments of my life. I often catch myself reminiscing them and my heart is filled with joy and so much longing but some times its too painful but i soldier on
I would have loved for him to see me ace my exams, I would have loved to share my struggles, to hold my hand when things got scary and uncertain, when things got too dark, laugh with him. I would have loved to tell him all that I was feeling in this stages, especially campus where a firm hand of a father would have come quite handy. But all in all I know I was my father’s pride.
Then there is the other members of the family, I won’t lie though relationships are not always we do try to atleast get along, make each others life better, i admit we got our beefs but at-least we always have a reason to love laugh and make merry. Remember the saying,' Great enemies are in our families, but it is where the most formidable alliances are forged.'We are a big polygamous family but despite how serious the rifts are, when things are thick we do pool together and stick together harder than glue.
Somewhere in my crazy life i have My friends’ … a constant source of all life lessons a young gal could ever have, learn and love. There are the genuine ones, the two-faced ones, the users and those associating with you by default... they make my life quite colorful. But all in all I have found in some of them My Gems, those who honestly love, those who would give their own lives to see me through whatever. Thise i show affection to openly, although few i have been lucky to have found this treasure
When we think of lifestyles and bills, that equals #My job. It is my first but It is the most exciting job, with all the new stuff im learning, the work environment, the new people i have met, is just too phat. I have encountered very interesting personalities who in their own way touched my life in so many ways I cannot even but a figure on it. Some taught me strength, patience, resilience, potential, love and appreciation. Some helped me be tough, be firm and to be my own person. If i ever leave this place I will be a better person and can take on the world.
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Relationships ...that does bring bittersweet memories. IKiss a frog to turn into a prince is rather cliche, i have dated seriously at some point, interesting bad boy at some point and yep you guessed right i am kinda attracted to bad boys. On a few occasions i have questioned my decisions but i realised it will not yield any scientific mind boggling situation so instead i decided to focus on the good in each and every person. Alot of times i felt i was not not the brilliant, young and ambitious woman my fahter believed I will grow up to be. This wasn’t what my grandpa's grandma’s efforts of making me a decent citizen all about. Fine they took the right steps, soared the right fruits but i am the one who chart s the course of my life.
Many times we go through stuff that if you are not strong little by little It kills something in you. All along you get lost but a small voice inside keeps nudging you to regain control, to let loose of things and people who arent for the common good of you.Some times we hurt too deep and at times we loose hope of finding ourselves, of ever getting back up again. But though fallen too deep dust yourself, clean house you can always start from somewhere regardless of how small or insignificant it may look at that time. Stop allowing people's negativity chart the course of your life, stop letting peoples’ opinions determine who you are. Dont forget to believe in thyself, dont forget to hope and to dream again. Dont put a full stop to the beautiful and intelligent being inside of you. Dont kill that wonderful god/goddess..
As for me, My Reincarnation has been nothing short of self discovery, a beautiful self find in itself; I am living this new life a little differently. I buried my naivety, and a long with it the trial and error crap, trusting too much aint my cup of coffee now. I seek self happiness and satisfaction , i am adventurous and more in control of myself. I spoil me quite often. Being beautiful is something i discovered and this new self find that guides what i want to put inside of me so that it can lead me to the hidden depths of my soul, i know when inside is beautiful so will be the outside and vice versa. So life is not any different than how it was before but its different in my eyes because i chose to look at it differently now. I still do me some silly things, make wrong decisions at times but I always know what I want in the end, and with mistakes i learn how not to do things this way or that way.Though still in my infant stages,where i experience teething problems now and them, my legs are not yet strong enough so I loose my balance at times but i still do find loads of joy in my life.
Do not chicken out of the Life, of achieving your dreams, on dating, infact as we speak I got two great men in my life. I am not advocating for serial dating but both are very important in my life and serve their purpose. One is more of a confidant, I talk to him alot,share alot of my fears to, he makes me laugh and makes me feel like the most important woman on planet earth. The other is my secret love, I love him so much but I want to know him more, I want a lover and a friend out of him, we are not there yet and I clearly see that, but untill its reached maturity i am going to be content with just getting to know him for now.
Life is not straight or smooth but its those rough patches that make it all worthwhile. Im living it!
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